2011 CANSA Shavathon

The 2011 CANSA Shavathon is happening this weekend on 5 March and this will be the fourth year that I am volunteering.  Each year I meet awesome and inspiring people with brilliant stories to tell. 

Sign up and Volunteer to shave or spray hair for cancer at a shopping centre nearest you. 

You know you want to...

And the Oscar goes to...

Oh I know its all about the films, but I just love the fashions of the red carpet too.

Sandra Bullock, Natalie Portman (is that a baby bump?), Halle Berry

Gorgeous Nicole Kidman

Adorable Reece Witherspoon

and the Big Disasters

Some Oscar Quotes

1. “I just got a text message from Charlie Sheen.” - James Franco dressed in drag as Marilyn Monroe.

2. “Bloody hell... what the hell am I doing here.” - The Fighter actor Christian Bale after winning Best Supporting Actor.


3. “My father always said I would be a late bloomer, I believe I am the oldest person to win this award,” he said. (He was born in 1937). - David Seidler of The King’s Speech after winning Best Screenplay.


4. “I thought it would be nice to celebrate film rather than fashion.” – Helena Bonham Carter on the red carpet.

5. “I have a feeling my career has just peaked.” - Colin Firth winning his first Oscar for The King’s Speech.


6. "Just have fun and find the bar as quickly as you can."— Kevin Spacey’s advice for tonight’s nominees.


7. “I've got sort of a complex with my bum, so I sort of thought I'd make it even bigger." — Helena Bonham Carter on her choice of dress for the evening.”


8. “Oh my gosh, you’re all real!” — Oscars host Anne Hathaway, greeting the audience at the start of the show.


9. “You’re much more beautiful than you were in ‘The Fighter.’” — Presenter Kirk Douglas to Best Supporting Actress Melissa Leo.

10. “When I watched Kate [Winslet] two years ago, it looked so fucking easy.” — Melissa Leo, dropping the F-Word while accepting her gong.

Liquid Diet Starts Today

Going to try to do this for at least 5 days.  I'm gonna try 7 days though as I have put on 6kg since I've stopped smoking.

1. Decide on how long you would like your diet to last. Some people do a liquid diet 1 day per week. Beginners often set their goal between 3 to 7 days.
2. Make sure the time span you choose for your liquid diet does not conflict with impending stressful situations. During a liquid diet, one should be in a relative state of rest.
3. Shop for your liquid diet supplies. You will need plenty of fresh fruit, fresh vegetables, herbal teas, and water. While on this diet, food quality matters very much. Since your nutrition intake will be limited, it is important that what you do put in your body has the most nutrition possible and little or no chemicals. For this reason, I suggest you consume only organic products.
4. Water should be your main liquid on this diet, 8 glasses at least. You should consume no more than 3 glasses of freshly juiced fruits and/or vegetables in one day. Try to consume more vegetable juice and broth than fruit juice. Vegetables contain more digestive enzymes and will help you along your diet better. Sip herbal teas all day, no limit. Do not use any type of sweetener.
5. Fill your thermos type containers with juice or broth when you know you will be out. Always take juice or broth with you to avoid emergency situations. Set yourself up for success.
6. Strenuous exercise is NOT part of a liquid diet. It is a good idea to take long walks at a regular pace, but do not attempt to break a sweat. The body should be at rest during this type of diet.
7. At the end of your liquid diet, it will be important for you to pace yourself back on to solid foods slowly and over the course of a few days. Begin with soups and cooked vegetables. Gradually add whole grains and fruit. Heavy foods that are difficult to digest, like meats and dairy (cheeses) should come last, if at all.

Monday Male - Through a Bloke's Eyes

My Main Man, El Jefe who has an award winning blog (just like mine, of course) has agreed to become a regular Guest Blogger over here. 

What do you think aboot that? 

Are you as excited as I am?  Not yet?  You will be.   

I think he's fucking hysterical and I'm sure you'll love him too. 

Originally from Ames, Iowa, El Jefe is currently a Spanish and ELL teacher in Iowa coaching football (aka soccer) and basketball.   He's a family man who likes to run, play soccer, read, play the guitar, write songs, and lounge around the house in his boxers. 

Go visit over at El Blog de Steve.

From a Guy’s Point of View…

My buddy and I were talking this week and, as usual, we got to talking about women.  We came to the conclusion that there are a lot of guys on the internet that write about relationships, they act like they know the opposite sex or think they can explain them . I think it is all crap, that these guys don't know the first thing about women. I have dated a lot of women, been around them for most of my life, and I would never say I am an expert on women.  I don't think any guy can.  

Today though I will set a few things straight and explain some undeniable FACTS about the fairer gender.

Women don't poop

I have never seen a woman “lay a log”, nor have I ever heard one express the fact that they got the "green splats."  I bet there is some scientific research out there that says women don't produce any excrement and also don't fart. (sidenote: because of this you can no longer refer to a women's ass as a Hershey highway and you absolutely cannot refer to yourself as her personal brown eyed master.) 

Women like it when you say, "You are just like your mother."

There is no way to end an argument better, she will instantly be happy and will agree with anything you say after that.  If she replies that she will, "cut your willie off for saying that" she is just playing around, but make sure you hide any cutlery in the home just to be on the safe side.

Dutch Ovens are an acceptable, no wait, preferred form of foreplay

Women like the way men smell, this is just a natural extension of this theory. Try it tonight, I am sure she will stay under the covers and not come up for air for a long time.

A casual reminder that a pair of jeans makes her ass look fat is considered to be very helpful

In order to look out for your woman, make sure you let her know, without her asking, that she looks fat in a pair of jeans. They will appreciate you looking out for them.  She may be mad at first, but then she will realize that you are protecting her and actually paying attention to her.  Brownie points galore for this one. 

The most romantic thing you can do after a night of drinking with your friends is to…-

Sneak into the bedroom, take off your pants, and tap her on her forehead with your willie saying, "Mr. Wiggly wants to play." There isn't a more romantic way to wake a woman up, 9 out of 10 women escorts surveyed agree! 

There you have it guys! Make sure you employ this knowledge and these techniques as soon as possible for a happier and healthier relationship. Ladies, there is no need to thank me, I have given you a voice that you have so longed to have

Kaylin's Birthday Celebration

Kaylin's birthday celebrations continued today at Spur with lunch with the family.   There was cake, singing, laughs and presents.


Kaylink your Mum and Dad love you very much!!  Stay as adorable and fiesty as you are.

Blowing Out Candles

Cake Sparkler

Time for Prezzies!

More Prezzies

I had to throw this one in.  Before we went to lunch we went to the supermarket and we came across this check-out lady who was wearing the worse wig I'd ever seen and I HAD to take a sneaky snap of her.

Megan in the supermarket playing silly buggers

Justin Bieber chops his mop or mopped his chop?

Teeny Weeny Justin Bieber lost thousands of followers on Facebook and 80 000 Tweeters recently because the Squealing Chop chopped his mop off..bye-bye bangs hello "mature" look.

"Yeah so it's true...I got a lil haircut...i like it...and we are giving all the hair cut to CHARITY to auction. Details coming soon" 

Before and After

February 2010 even shorter

What do you think? 

Happy 5th Birthday Kaylin

My Wee Peanut is turning 5 on Sunday and yesterday I let her take cupcakes to school for all her wee friends (32 of them to be exact). I was on strict instructions to get her Mickey Mouse Clubhouse cup cakes.  Here's what they looked like thanx to Corrie at Cocojo, not only did them look amazing, but they tasted divine too!!!

So our KK is having a birthday weekend!  We'll celebrate her real birthday on Sunday at Spur with more cake and family.

The Birthday Girl with her Birthday Crown

Celebrating with her school friends

Lets P-A-R-T-Y

Bring on the Milk Tart Shooters!!!

What you will need:
2L bottle (of your choice)
2 Tins Condensed Milk
1 Tin Ideal Milk (although some people add two)
1 bottle of vodka (of your choice - just remember the cheaper the vodka the nastier the hangover )
Cinnamon for sprinkling on top of shot

How to make the Milk Tart Shot:
In a clean 2-litter bottle, add the vodka, Condensed milk and the ideal milk. Shake bottle well. Pore contents into desired amount of tote glasses, sprinkle cinnamon on top, to taste. Serve chilled or at room temperature. Place remaining bottle in fridge or back in cooler box. Cheers!

Its Happening....It's Here.... Fawk You Friday!

Friday is Heels Day....fuck it, every day is heels day but today is Friday's Shoegasm over at Boobies. 

Go say hi and see her heels

$135 Louboutins

My Iron Fist Slip on Hooker Heels $45

These are bed heels only....

Yeah its Homemakers Expo show time...and I probably won't get to blog much until next week so thats my Fuck You Friday for the week.  I give you the Fuck You Song to sing a long with.

Still love y'all.

Homemakers Expo at the Coca Cola Dome

Decor on a Buget stand

When Girls Drink...

 

When girls drink....

• We have no idea where our handbag is.
• We believe that dancing with our arms overhead and wiggling our bums while yelling "Woooohoo!" is truly the sexiest dance move ever!
• We suddenly decide that we want to kick someone's ass and honestly believe we could do it.
• In our last trip to pee we realise that we now look more like a Homeless Hooker than the Goddess that we were four hours ago.
• We start crying and telling everyone we see that we love them sooooo much.
• We get extremely excited and jump up and down every time a new song comes on and we yell "Oh My God, its my song!  I looooove this song".
• We find a deeper, spiritual side to the geek sitting next to us.
• We feel the need to flash our tits.
• We suddenly take up smoking and we are very good at it.
• We accuse the bartender of diddling us because we believe he's serving us lemonade but its just that we can no longer taste the gin.
• We think we are in bed but we've been curled up on the kitchen floor for ages using a mop as a pillow with our skirt hiked up to our waist.
• We fail to notice that the toilet seat is down.
• We take our shoes off because we feel that it is their fault we're having trouble walking straight.
• We get louder and louder as the evening progresses and don't feel that the alcohol is affecting us at all.  "I'm fiiiinnne!"

Whenever someone asks me if I want water with my Whiskey, 

I say I'm fucking thirsty, not dirty!

And the Circus Begins - I need a Valium the size of a fucking hockey puck!

Build up for our 2011 Gauteng Homemakers Expo started yesterday at The Coca Cola Dome and it was hectic! 

Clients registering to build up at 620 stands on 1400 square meters with us at The Organiser's Office.  Never ending queries about stand sizes, configurations, lighting, wall panels, electricity, plumbing, signage, fascia boards was never ending...

I'm exhausted after the first day!  A week to go....

Build Up of the 2011 Gauteng Homemakers Expo

Sexual harassment at work - is it a problem for the self-employed?

Let me wash yer mouth out with Jagermeister...

Jaysus, was there some fucking ugly fashion on the Red Carpet at The Grammys this year.  I'm sure you'll agree with me when you see these Plonkers

Now that HotAss-Daddy-of-Twins Ricky Martin,  is out of the closet he thinks he has free reign to wear ridiculous skin tight silver trousers and suffocate his poor nuts. 

Lady Gaga didn't disappoint me by showing up looking like a primary school solar system science project with fuckin' yellow hair!!!  I love my heels but those shoes are just plain bizarre.

 

Then to put the cherry on the top, she encased herself in an egg for her Grammy performance.  Could she get any more Loopy?

Justin Bieber arrived in a fugly white tuxedo.  You'd think with all his success and being really rich, he could choose a suit that fit him properly.  A pair of tennis shoes with a suit just looks daft.

Nicki Minaj looked like she swallowed an african safari and is that her real hair? did they spray paint it?  is it a hat?  what the fuck is it?

American Idol's Crystal Bowersox looks like a giant booger.  Its impossible to look glam with dreads, gurlfriend.  You may have an amazing voice but that'll never buy you style...

Another American Idol find, Adam Lambert is my favourite AI of all time (yeah, that includes the awesome Will Young).  He is a brilliant singer and performer and super hot too but he was wearing more make up than some of the girls there. Och, I still love ye, Adam but easy on the eyeliner and lipgloss, dude!

Kat Von D, LA Ink and a lipgloss

Recently I was runner up in a Tattoo Competition over at Bad Girl Bloggers and I won a Kat Von D lipgloss and I love it.

I love watching Kat's TV show LA ink on E-TV and I was thrilled that I got one of her fabulous lipglosses.

The picture that was entered in the competition

The awesome Kat Von D lipgloss

Stardom? I never touch the stuff.

Have you ever been told you look familiar?  Have you ever been told by a complete stranger that you're a dead ringer for a celebrity?

I have.  

Yesterday, in fact.

There I am minding my own business at the local Spar Supermarket buying my weekly fruit, cereal bars and yoghurt for the lunch boxes, when this woman behind me the check out queue smiles at me.  

I thought either she's a loony or she's just being polite - so I smile back at her.  But...you know when someone stares at for you for just TOO LONG and you start feeling uncomfortable?  You know, like my post I made earlier in the week about staring into the back of someone's head until they turn around...yeah like that...

Handing my debit card to the cashier, I give Loony Woman a sideways glance and she's still grinning and staring into the side of my head.  Eventually she pipes up:  "I'm sorry but you remind me of someone".  I grinned at her and said "Oh?".  She looks at me for another couple of seconds and says: "That actress.. Julianne Moore!" and beams an expression that probably meant she was so fucking chuffed with herself for remembering the actress' name. 

All embarrassed, I say "Thank you very much, I think"  and yip she's still grinning...fucking loony toonz.

Now I know that Julianne Moore isn't a A-list actress and probably not the on the B-List either, but I am incredibly flattered when someone mentions this, because its not the first time someone has said it either.  And...I consider Julianne to be quite attractive (in ginger terms) and so its quite an honour to be told I look like her.

Have you ever been told you look like a celeb?  If so, who is it?

_________________________________________

This week's Fawk Yous:

Fuck you to the Loony Woman who creeped me out by sideways staring me yesterday in the supermarket queue.

Fuck You to the bullies that influence my sweet wee Megan and try and turn her into a bully herself!  Little Fuckers, I'll knock their blocks off.

Fuck you all the chocolate Easter Eggs in the shops at the moment.  They are so tempting!  My thighs - My thighs!

________________________________________________


Right, so all of you know how much I love my heels and I'm happy to say that there's a new Friday link up over at  Boobies.  Go link up for Friday Shoegasm and shows us yer heels!  You know I'll love it.

Bow Shoes from Iron First (Yes those are cupcakes) $45.00

Prada heels with socks
Trendy and hot!

I'm on a Whiskey diet. I've lost 3 days already!

If you could choose between loosing 5kg (more or less 10bs) or receiving R1000 ($70) in cash, which one would you choose?  And why?

Its seems that 23% of us have tried or are using diet pills, 47% of us are afraid of puting on weight, 58% of us turn to food, 68% are almost always on diet.

Some of us can't even tell if we're hungry or full or just plain thirsty...we seem preoccupied with food, eating, dieting or pursuing new weight loss information.  We constantly tell each other which foods are good or bad, we say "If only I were 5kgs thinner...I'd [fill in your shitty story]". 

I use food as a comfort and eat for an emotional need other than a physical hunger, I think most of us are in this slot.  Some of us feel guilty after eating because we have over-eaten and sometimes are moods are influenced by what we have eaten or not have eaten.  We constantly examine our bodies, checking out the bad areas, some of us count calories and points, some of us become exercise addicts, secret eaters, secret purgers. 

Why do we battled with our relationship with food and our weight?

We need to stop obsession and listen to our bodies, find out why we have a certain relationship with food.  We need to eat to live not live to eat.  We need to stop looking at the media that dictates we all need to look like fucking sickly stick insects.

Its simple, eat three balanced nutritious meals a day, drink lots of water.  Everything in moderation. 

Yes, it seems so simple and I still can't get it fucking right!

So would you choose the money or the weight?

I'd choose the weight - everytime!  Can I have more than one go?

I'd rather be snorting cocaine off a Hooker's Arse

10 Random things to do when you're bored stiff.

1. Burn shit with a magnifying glass.
2. Blink widely, then close your eyes really tight and enjoy the interesting, pretty light show.
3. Try not to think about penguins.
4. Repeat the same word over and over until it loses its meaning.
5. See what your neighbour has in their rubbish bin.
6. Prank phone calls are always a good way to pass the time.
7. Step off the curb with your eyes shut and pretend its a cliff.
8. Stare at the back of someone fucker's head until they turn around.
9. Wet your hands and then make a sneezing noise while you flick the water at someone.
10. Pick up a dog so it can see things from your point of view. 

♥ Calvin and Hobbes

This one is for CB