Freaky Fawk You Friday

Its Fawk You Friday over at Boobies

Fuck You to the collection of 9 million hadidah ibis birds that hide in our trees, outside our bedroom and wake me a 5am every fucking morning with they "waahwaah" at full volume!  My boerewors has a paint ball gun with your name on it!!! Watch out, Tweety!

Fuck You to the fat genes that I was blessed with or cursed with rather.  I have to watch EVERYTHING I eat.  I put on 2lbs just looking at slice chocolate fudge cake, 3lbs if I sniff it and 5lbs if I lick the bastard.  Fuck those calories - surely by now modern technology could have invented some ingenius Slim Pill that makes and keeps your skinny...

Fuck You to our long-haired cat who causes me to spray my twangy mucus and make it airborne for everyone to suck in and let those little bacteria fuckers breed in my tiny off-spring's immune system.  I am considering shaving Pickles - then all have a sphinx and won't be sneezing over everything and everyone.

Fuck You to Creme Soda that my kids love but turns their teeth a beautiful shade of Hulk green.  What is in that shite?  Its like green glue.

Fuck You to the local gym who want to charge me R599 per month to join their facility!  That is $86 - I don't wanna fucking buy the equipment, I just wanna use it a few times a week.  For that price I want a fucking back massage and pedicure every time I step through the door!  Jaysus, I could save up the money I'd spend on gym for 6 months and get me some liposuction!

Final Fuck You to the eyebrow dye that I left on a wee bit too long last night and now I have a pair of Bozo The Clown brows.  Thank God I have a long fringe!