Fawk You Friday, Shoegasm Shizzle and a Fizzy 55

So it's Fawk You Friday again!  Can you believe it?  Well my lovelies, head on over to Boobies, Babies and a Blog and link up.  Have some stinky cheese with your whine and let it all hang oot!

My Fuck You's this week:

Fuck you to my car's clutch cable that snapped in the middle of a busy traffic circle during rush-hour at 4pm in the afternoon just about 500m from my daughter's school.  All those fuckers peeping and gesturing for me to get out the way.  Where the fuck must I go when my car doesn't have a clutch and I'm on an incline.  Do I crawl up my own arsehole? Piss off!  

However, My Knight-In-Shining-Boerewors came to my rescue with tow car and tow rope.  Smart man!  I was in tears on the way home because I didn't know how to keep the rope tight without my breaks smelling like they were going to explode or trying to view all this through streaming tears.  

Story not over.  It happened again yesterday!  It snapped off mid-busy intersection and my Knight-In-Shining-Boerewors had to come to my rescue again.  He deserves a medal for coming to the rescue again, even though his wife was screaming down the phone at him.  I'm deeply sorry for taking out my frustrations on you!  I would rather evacuate my bowels in a public place than go through that again.


Fuck You to my stupid scale.  It hasn't budged since I started gym two weeks ago.  I thought I'd have lost at least 1 fekkin kilogram by now.  Urgh!  Keep plodding along on that Orbitrek machine, gurl!

Head on over to G-Man and sign up for Flash Fiction Friday and write a complete story in 55 words.  Easy Peasy Lemon Squeezy.

Sugar Free and yet sweet

Dark and Lovely

500mls of soft,

carbonated black beauty

Caffeine and Phenylalanine  loaded

Nice constant Buzzzzz

4 kilojoules of yumminess

0 grams of guilt-free fat

40mg of Sodium that’s 2% of your GDA

GDA – Guideline Daily Amount

Recyclable Plastic Bottle

Chug it down

Aahhhh!

Coke Lite does it for me!

Its Friday's Shoegasm over at  Peace Love Appelsauce

Go Link up and enjoy all the Heels



$669 at FabCrush

Orange (my favourite colour) Louboutin Knock-Offs $142

For the up-and-coming Royal Wedding  from Irregular Choice

Irregular Choice GBP79.99

Irregular Choice GBP129.99

I wish someone in the UK could send me a pair of Irregular Choice shoozies.  I'm a SA Size 4 if anyone wants to surprise me for my birthday in June.

I couldn't help but throw in a handbag because its so damn cute from Irregular Choice for GBP79.99.  Boy, do they have the most adorable accessories or what?. 

Have a BRILLIANT weekend and don't do anything I would do.  Bazinga!

April Fools!

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55 Flash Fiction Friday - Episode 13

Join me in playing this writing game with hundreds of other bloggers including G-Man, Steveroni and Brian Miller  called 55 Flash Fiction Fridays.


Feed your flowers 
They crave moisture 
Nourish them and they will flourish 
Prune and trim them neat 
Their blooms will thrive 

Talk to your flowers 
Pay attention to their needs 
Wish them well coax them to swell 
Allow them their rainbow flaunt 

Their delicate petals 
Will wither and shrivel 
If they are not tended tenderly.

FlogYoBlog Friday over at MummyTime.  Go check it out! 

Over at One Crazy Brunette Chick

55 Flash Fiction Friday - Episode 12

Join me in playing this writing game with hundreds of other bloggers including G-Man, Steveroni and Brian Miller  called 55 Flash Fiction Fridays.

Eyes cast down

Motionless

Pondering

Picking my thumb nails

Feeling my heart bleed

Knowing I ought to be suffering

But unable to sense the pain

Disconnected and muted

Unsure and scared

My carefully assembled wall

Constructed slowly and

Mysteriously behind my back

Unaware of its progression

Wondering how I collaspe it 

without destroying myself?

FlogYoBlog Friday over at MummyTime.  Go check it out!

Over at One Crazy Brunette Chick

55 Flash Fiction Friday - Episode 11

Join me in playing this writing game with hundreds of other bloggers including G-Man on Fridays, called 55 Flash Fiction Fridays.




The sun’s gone down
The fun is now over
The party was hoppin
With great conversation
Lots of laughs
and far too much wine
Dancing and whooping
Cocktails and Shooters
Waking up in the morning
Is torture to the liver
Eyes burning
Body sore
Tired and grumpy
Dry mouth
Pounding head
Hungover and half dead!

FlogYoBlog Friday over at MummyTime.  Go check it out!

55 Flash Fiction Friday - Episode 10

Join me in playing this writing game with hundreds of other bloggers including G-Man on Fridays, called 55 Flash Fiction Fridays.



Just when you think you’ve got your act together,made good decisions, life comes along and throws you a curve ball.  I think Life is a series of events that makes you question your decisions all the time. Fate versus deliberate choices, which should we believe in?  Leave it to faith or make it happen?

FlogYoBlog Friday over at MummyTime.  Go check it out!

55 Friday - Episode 3

Join me in playing this writing game with hundreds of other bloggers including G-Man and Sepia Mutiny on Fridays, called 55 Fiction Fridays, or 55 Fridays. The idea is to write a complete story in only 55 words.

Remember I don't claim to be a writer but I hope you join me and see if we can have a laugh. So, get your pen poised and either write a 55 word story on your own blog, or you can post it in my comments below.

come 

sit down 

next to me 

warm skin on mine 

let me feel your breath 

gently ruffling my auburn hair 

nestling on your chest 

listening to the rhythm 

of your heart 

beating for 

me 

look 

gaze down 

azure eyes ablaze 

hanging on every word 

worshiping your every phrase 

melody to my ears 

sweet harmony 

adoration