★10 Days of Bullshit Challenge - Day 10 ★

Awwwww its the last day of the 10 Days of Bullshit Challenge hosted by Destiny at ★Rockin' Mama★ I've actually had loads of fun doing this challenge and reading everyone else's responses.  A huge thank you to Destiny for creating this awesome challenging...

Day 10's topic is : Write a letter to you at 16 years old.

Hello Wee Lass

This is the Older version of The Daft Scots Lass from your future to firstly knock you down a few notches and tell you that you’re not ALL THAT!  You’re not as badass as you think you are. 

In fact you’re a sad, lost wee lassie.  So, listen up ye wee tart, using boys as your playthings won’t help with your abandonment issues.  Just cross yer legs and concentrate more on school because you’ll be sorry when you don’t get the grades you need to go and study further to get towards your dreams.   

However, don’t be so hard on yourself and believe you can do it.  You’re more talented than you think you are. You are smart enough.  You are creative enough.  You can do it. You can do anything when you put your mind to it. 

Love yerself and be kind to yerself.

When I look at this photo of me at 16 in the 80s, a lot of old buried feelings come flooding back.  I see a wee lassie who had to grow up way too fast, who had to see things she shouldn't have, who had to go through things she shouldn't have. She endured, she concealed but she survived.  This wee lassie wore a mask for a very long time until she felt brave enough to take it off and face those demons.  

★10 Days of Bullshit Challenge - Day 9 ★

Second last day of the 10 Days of Bullshit Challenge over at ★Rockin' Mama★ and I've just loved this challenge!!! 

Check out the other topics here and go link up with Rockin' Mama.


Today's topic is : If your life was made into a movie what would the title be and who would you cast to play you?

Julianne Moore

The movie would be called A Daft Scots Lass in Heels and my part would be played by Julianne Moore of course - my Hollywood Double (I fucking wish) except she would have a huge bahookie. 

She'd make my life loads more glamourous that I could ever do. 

I would be podgered by the handsome, Gerard Butler, my husband.  My girls would be played by  the young, pretty and adorable Fanning sisters, Dakota and Elle. 

My mum and dad would be played by the gorgeous and serene, Helen Mirren and the incredibly funny and crass, Billy Connolly. 

My older, blonde sister would be played by a young cheeky Barbara Windsor...

Gerard Butler cast as My Husband

Helen Mirren cast as My Mum

Billy Connolly cast as My Dad

Barbara Windsor cast as My Sister

★10 Days of Bullshit Challenge - Day 7 ★

★Rockin' Mama★ 's 10 Days of Bullshit Challenge

is going really well and rockin' my balls off.  I am actually enjoy it - we're now of Day 7 and the topic today is:

What is the difference between love and lust?

Love is permanent ink



Lust is written in red lipstick

Check out the other topics here and go link up with Destiny and see everyone else's posts.

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★10 Days of Bullshit Challenge - Day 5 ★

★Rockin' Mama★  and a bunch of awesome bloggers (including moi) are doing the 10 Days of Bullshit Challenge.  

Day 5's topic is:  If I could change one thing about myself it would be____.

Check out the other topics here and go link up.

If I could change one thing about myself it would be my lack of patience. 

I have a short fuse, a very short fuse. In fact I don’t think I have a fuse at all. My temper combusts instantly, it explodes with no warning. 

However, just as quick as I have flown into my rage, hurling four letter words at top volume, the unfortunate recipient of my wrath has been blasted; it just as quickly dissolves and disappears.

The problem with this being that, the aftermath is much more damaging to the shattered people who have witnessed “The Big Bang”. They are standing with mouths agape and I expect them to accept my apologies and requests for forgiveness before they’ve even realised the sharpness of the pain I have caused.

I often feel that once I have apologised for my explosion, it can promptly be left in the past and I can move on.

This is selfish.

I know I need to take a step back and realise the magnitude of my eruptions. I wish I could know this before “The Big Bang” has happened. I wish I could monitor and gage when it is about to happen so that I can ring a fucking huge ass bell and warn myself to hold my tongue and censor words.

Can you change your general disposition?

Can you educate the art of patience to someone like me?

If you don't have the answers to these questions, go caption this week's Freaky Photo Competition #12

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★ 10 Days of Bullshit Challenge - Day 4 ★

★Rockin' Mama★  is whoring her 10 Days of Bullshit Challenge.  

Today's topic is: What do you lie about the most?

I can bullshit the hind leg offa donkey to strangers - Bazinga! No True's Nuts!  I even have a saying for it that everyone rags me about.  "Lying Toad".  I can't even remember where I picked it up or who I'm heard it from first.

Anyhoozer, Lying to people I know and who know me well, I can't do it.  I KNOW there is a certain "look" I get when I lie and even I know when I pull "The Face".  

The instant I do it I feel it there - like a beacon for all to see. Its like an alarm going off: 

"Beep! Beep! Beep!  

Look at me I'm lying through my teeth.  

Beep! Beep! Beep!  

Yeah Fuckers, this is the "The Lying Face" can you see it?  

Beep! Beep! Beep! 

You've noticed haven't you? 

 Beep! Beep! Beep! 

You're now going to tell every one I'm lying aren't you?  

Beep! Beep! Beep!

Lying Bitch!

So, Plonkers I avoid lying to my close friends and family about stuff because I'm not very good at it.  I know I'll get caught or I know if they don't say anything, that they're just being polite and avoiding confronting me about it.  They will then go and tell their friends that I lied and spread the word that I'm a Lying Fucking Toad!

Then again this is the Bullshit Challenge, isn't it?

Dont forget to enter this week's Caption My Freak Photo Competition #12

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★10 Days of Bullshit Challenge - Day 3★

★ Rockin' Mama★  and I are doing the 10 Days of Bullshit Challenge.  Day 3's topic is "An experience you're not proud of, but has made you the person you are today"

Check out the topics here and go link up.

Does your Mother Know that I know all the words to most of ABBA’s greatest hits?


Oh yeah, not even fucking Fernando will admit to owning an ABBA record but their music turns me into a complete Dancing Queen.

But yes, I know all the words to most of their songs, Honey Honey.  So put that in yer pipe and smoke it.


SOS!


I grew up in a house full of music and when my Mamma Mia and dad were out, I Had A Dream and I sneaked down to the lounge to switch on their wee Phllips record player and I’d listen to all my parent’s old 33 vinyl records. ABBA being among my dad's large record collection.

I would play the ABBA tracks over and over again until I got all the words perfect and I heard Bjorn and Benny Ring, Ringing in my ears.


I would prance around the lounge, leaping and twirling like The Piper with my hairbrush in my hand as my make-shift microphone pretending to be pretty Agnetha. She is My Kind of Girl and wished I had long blonde locks just like hers. I would imagine myself wearing the colourful tight lycra bell-bottoms and slinky tops with the spot light on me.


Did you know that ABBA sold over 375 million records worldwide? That’s a lotta Money, Money, Money.


I love ABBA. I Do, I Do, I Do, I Do, I Do.


When All Is Said and Done, it had made me into The Daft Scots Lass I am today.


Thank You for the Music!



 

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★10 Days of Bullshit Challenge - Day 2★

★Rockin' Mama★  and a bunch of other fucking awesome bloggers are doing the 10 Days of Bullshit Challenge.  Day 2's topic is Your first experience with alcohol.

Check out the Days topics here and go link up.

My first experience with alcohol? I actually don’t remember that. Mum always had wine in the house and we were always offered a glass, well I don’t think we were offered, we just took, so I don’t really remember abusing alcohol until my late teens. However, I do remember my first experience with the Doobie Crunchies. Yeah, the good old marujana...

It think it was my sister’s 21st so I was probably 18 and all the usual headbangers and their bitches were invited. I arrived late for the party for some reason and my boyfriend and I made a bee line for the kitchen to pour our cheap plonk wine into presentable glasses to make us feel suitably grown up.

It was then that I noticed the freshly baked crunchies on a pretty plate on the kitchen counter. I fucking love crunchies! I have never been able to resist them.

I popped one in my mouth and we went to join the others. After girating my body for a bit and almost dislocating my neck to Slayer, I went back to the kitchen to get a wine refill. Its thirsty work, headbanging and avoiding the mosh pit.

I then spotted the plate of crunchies that was freshly filled up. I popped another one in my mouth and put another one in my pocket. Soon, I was going back quite regularly to the kitchen, not to refill my wine glass, but to munch down on the yummy crunchies.

About an hour later, I was puzzled as to how I could be THIS pissed on two glasses of wine?! While I was pondering that, I got the giggles. I then go the munchies. Then I got the giggles again. Vicious circle! I don’t remember much after giggling and munching like a maniac but apartently I had a really great time, dancing the night away.

My sister only told me years later that the crunches were “green loaded” and contained quite a lot of weed. No wonder I had such a bad hangover the next day.



Check out Day 1

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★10 Days of Bullshit Challenge - Day 1 ★

★Rockin' Mama★  is doing the 10 Days of Bullshit Challenge and I thought I'd join her because its not your usual boring Blog Challenge and you all know how I love something a wee bit different and twisted!

You can be as honest as you want or as the title says bullshit your way through this!


Rock the button, spread the Rockin' Mama like an STD and make sure you go link up after every post so other Bitches can find your ass.


Right Plonkers so here is how it works.  Pay attention!  Start with Day 1 so everyone following knows who you are. After that I don't give a shit if you go in order, but finish in 10 days!


★Day 01- A recent photo of you with a funny caption.


★Day 02- How was your first experience drinking alcohol?


★Day 03- An experience you're not proud of, but has made you the person you are today.


★Day 04- What do you lie about the most?


★Day 05- Finish this sentence. If I could change one thing about myself it would be___________.


★Day 06- Who or what is your inspiration, and why?


★Day 07- What is the difference between love and lust?


★Day 08- Has a person of the same sex made a pass at you, and what was your reaction?


★Day 09- If your life was made into a movie what would the title be and who would you cast to play you?


★Day 10- Write a letter to you at 16 years old.

A Daft Scots Lass tried out Bull Sperm, as it is know as the "Viagra for Hair"

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