FFF55 and Fawk You Friday

Go give The G-Man some love and join hundreds of other bloggers playing Flash Fiction Friday 55.

Write a complete story in only 55 words. Its easier said that done.

Enjoy!

Don’t spend your precious time asking “What is happening to the world and why isn’t it a better place?”.  It’s only be time wasted.  The question to ask is: “How I can I make it better?”  To that there are plenty answers.  It sometimes takes minimal effort to make a huge impact on someone else.

Yay! Its Fawk You Friday hosted by Boobies

Ready! Steady! Vent!

I had ONE BIG thing that I want to vent about this week that I can't really vent about on my blog.  Yeah, I know I always say never censor yerself but this is about work and I don't really wanna splash things about work all over the interwebs and get fired for it.  I do enjoy my work, its just circumstances that I'm PISSED OFF about.  Its been a very emotional week at work and some major changes taking place...So, I'm taking the easy way out and just making a general Fuck You to that in general.

Fuck You to that freakazoid Lady Gaga who recently wore a dress made out of fucking sirloin steaks to the MTV Music Awards.  God, she's so fucking twisted you just can't look away.  Don't worry Vegans its FAKE!  But still only the Gaga would wear this in public, hell, only Gaga would wear this at ALL!

Lady Gaga meats MTV 

Fuck you to the fucking retarded Nicole Kidman who was once really pretty, actually quite the gorgeous gal around Hollywood.  Now that skank has had so much plastic surgery you could cut her waif frame with a knife.  She's gone from strikingly stunning to uglier than a bag full of fucking hairy arseholes!  Stoopid bitch.

Finally, a big Fawk You to My Boerewors who, more often than not, makes ME sleep in the wet spot.  I'll get you back...be on the look out for revenge...

Go FlogYoBlog Friday at Random Ramblings of a SAHM 

Flash Fiction Friday 55 and Fawk You Friday

Join me and The  G-Man and hundreds of other bloggers playing Flash Fiction Friday 55.  Write a complete story in only 55 words.  Its easier said that done. Enjoy!

Man, its so awesome to be back.

Incognito

Masked and disguised

Buried behind a dense dark cloak

Veiled and concealed

An enigma to world

Secretly Smirking behind the costume

Relishing the anonymity and secrecy

Taking delight in the mystery

My Halloween ensemble is complete

However, all is in vain

Completely pointless and futile

ADaftScotsLass is

“All dressed up and no-where to go”

Yay!  Its Fawk You Friday at Boobies.

It gives you a chance to vent your frustrations for the week, which I do a lot and LOVE it:

• Fuck You to our internal It department who are restricting our internet access to almost nothing.  When am I going to get to blog, demit?  Don't make me FUCK SHIT UP, people!  I'll crack your teeth your conceited Wanker.
• Fuck You to deplorable bank balance that is depressing, pitiful and pathetic.  I want to win the fucking lottery!  I guess I’ll need to play then, right?  I’m in abject financial misery at the moment.
• Fuck You to the local retailers that grossly overcharge me for basic food stuffs.  Geezo, even a rudimentary block of gouda these days is a fucking rip off!  35 bucks!  You gotta be shitting me?!
• Fuck you to the torrent monsoon that happened just as I was leaving for work yesterday morning.  Not only did my mascara run and my hair fell flatter than a pancake, but the bottom 6 inches of my pants got mud-splattered and saturated.   Hell, I know I should NOT be complaining about the rain – and I’m not – because we really need it.  I’m complaining about the occurrences that happen due to the rain?  I am rambling again…  I just detest looking like fucking shit at work.

Go FlogYoBlog Friday at Random Ramblings of a SAHM 

Flash Fiction Friday 55 and Fawk You Friday

I'm back!!!

Gosh, FFF55ers I couldn't stay away..

I got far too many withdrawal symptoms from not writing my weekly 55s.  

Don't judge me - please just forgive me and have me back, G-Man. 

I neglected my Friday 55 

Not my finest decision 

The void it left was unexpected 

More than my lack of prose precision 

So here I am, I return 

Pleading to be taken back 

Into the crowd of 55 writers

Who fulfilled my writer’s heart. 

Exonerate, punish, reprimand and chide 

FFF55 is where my spirits reside.

Sign up for Fawk You Friday at Boobies.

It gives you a chance to vent your frustrations for the week:

• Fuck you to the bad-ass gastro virus that attacked my Boerewors and had him flat on his back in bed all day yesterday.  Poor bugger suffered and the place stank like shite.
• Fuck you to the pityful spittles of rain we had this week.  You're just teasing us!  Didn't you hear my numerous loud requests for a true African thunderstorm downpour? Light rain is enough to just piss me the fuck off.  You know, just enough to make my fucking car dirty, not enough to really saturate the garden and settle all the dust that is making our sinuses dribble all over the damn place.
• Fuck you to the South African community that don't celebrate Halloween in any way shape or form.  Because of the customs of this country, I am unable to dess up in my hawt witches party costume and go trick-or-treating.  Most of you Fuckers know how much I adore chocolate and candy.  C'mon, give a girl a break!
• Fuck you to the corn snake that found its way into our garden and scared the living shite outta me.  I nearly had fucking heart failure, demmit.  I hope that slithery Fucker didn't lay its eggs somewhere in a dark corner because if I have to deal with your babies, I will have a fucking stroke for sure!

FlogYoBlog Friday at Random Ramblings of a SAHM and meet some awesome bloggers.

Fuck You Friday

Sign up for Fawk You Friday at Boobies.

This week's Fucker Features:

This week has been pretty fucking awesome actually so its been difficult for me to find some Fuck Yous (I'm sure I'll be able to squeeze in a couple). 

Anyhoo, the reason why its been so brilliant is that I left my mobile phone at a local pharmacy and by the time I realised it was gone, I just knew someone had swiped it.  It doesn't happen often that if you leave your phone somewhere, that you get it back (well not in South Africa anyway).

However, the following day I got wind that the guy from the pharmacy had been phoning people on my contact list trying to get hold of me.  He had kept my phone and wanted to return it to me.  Yip, my brand spanking new phone was safe!  I went to collect it and I couldn't have show the dude more gratitude...

• 
  
  Fuck you to the wee baw-bag bacteria that invaded my larynx  causing me to sound like a complete eejit for most of the fuckin week.  Yeah, I lost my voice so I couldn't even yell at my kids!  It was frustrating and exhausting.  Each word I uttered took so much energy and I still sounded like a loony tweenie shitter who voice is in the process of breaking.
• 
  
  Fuck you to the nimbus clouds that floated in and mocked us.  We're all dyin' for the rain.  The wind blew a gale and we heard a rumble or two but absa lootly FUCK ALL.  We need the rain demmit, its been a long dry winter.  Just fucking rain already!

FlogYoBlog Friday at Random Ramblings of a SAHM and meet some awesome bloggers.

Blog Stalk Friday is hosted by The Princess of Class, Trash and Sass. Follow this mouthy Crazy Brunette Chick's rules or she'll fuck you Bitches up!

Awah and fuck yerselz and have a brilliant weekend!
Will be over soon to read all  yer FFF55s 

 

55 Flash Fiction Friday - Episode 17

Play the writing game me and with hundreds of other bloggers including G-Man called 55 Flash Fiction Fridays.  The aim is to write a complete story in 55 words only.  Go on, try it!

"Wiping the slate clean"

Is by no means possible 

There should not even be such an expression. 

We ultimately Forgive 

But never Forget 

We carry around our fears 

Which haunt and burden us. 

Revisiting these events that trouble us. 

We can’t discuss them 

We can’t share them 

It eats away at us for all eternity

FlogYoBlog Friday over at Random Ramblings of a SAHM.  
Go check it out

Boobies hosts this one.

I want to say Fuck You to the follow dickweeds this Friday:

• The Macadamia Nut dispenser at the Fruit & Veg City which made me look like  a complete fucking tit when I pulled the lever and I got more nuts on the floor than I did in my paper bag.  Fucking stupid high-speed dispensers.
• Fuck You to the South African winters that get longer and longer and colder and colder.  My nipples may have actually elongated this winter - thanks to you. And that is not a good thing.
• And finally this one took the cupcake for the week...Fuck You to South African Idols who made me laugh so hard that I spit my satisfying beverage all over my snoozing daughter who was on my lap.  Conversation went like this:

Gareth Cliff : "So what do you do for a living?"

Rather dim-looking Idols Contestant : I sell sweets, crisps and stuff.

Gareth Cliff :  Like a Spaza Shop?

Idiot : Yebo

Gareth Cliff :  Oh , soo you're A Vendor?

Idiot : No, I'm a Zulu!

 Eish Wena Here is the Clip!

Happy Friday the 13th Too! *evil chuckle*