This week's Fucker Features:
This week has been pretty fucking awesome actually so its been difficult for me to find some Fuck Yous (I'm sure I'll be able to squeeze in a couple).
Anyhoo, the reason why its been so brilliant is that I left my mobile phone at a local pharmacy and by the time I realised it was gone, I just knew someone had swiped it. It doesn't happen often that if you leave your phone somewhere, that you get it back (well not in South Africa anyway).
However, the following day I got wind that the guy from the pharmacy had been phoning people on my contact list trying to get hold of me. He had kept my phone and wanted to return it to me. Yip, my brand spanking new phone was safe! I went to collect it and I couldn't have show the dude more gratitude...
- Fuck you to the wee baw-bag bacteria that invaded my larynx causing me to sound like a complete eejit for most of the fuckin week. Yeah, I lost my voice so I couldn't even yell at my kids! It was frustrating and exhausting. Each word I uttered took so much energy and I still sounded like a loony tweenie shitter who voice is in the process of breaking.
- Fuck you to the nimbus clouds that floated in and mocked us. We're all dyin' for the rain. The wind blew a gale and we heard a rumble or two but absa lootly FUCK ALL. We need the rain demmit, its been a long dry winter. Just fucking rain already!
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