Oh Yes, today someone WILL be offended! Take THAT MONDAY!
Subtle or What?
I'm living next door to a muslim couple at the moment. They have 3 little kids and they've challenged me to a water fight in the back yard, so I'm just writing to you while the kettle boils!
Can you spare just R2.00? Ranji is a 9yr old boy living in Zambia . He has only 1 leg, 1 arm and 1 eye. Each day he has to ride 7 miles to school along a narrow road on a rusty bike with bent wheels, no brakes and only 1 pedal. If you send us just R2.00, we will send you the video - its fucking hilarious.
I've caught a stray parrot in my garden. All he says is, "good morning you ugly prick." It's not yours is it?
I'm sick to death of people knocking on my door looking for donations. Just had one from the sperm bank. Boy, did I give her a mouthful.
Been to the optometrist today - he told me I was color blind. I'm fucking worried now that some of my buddies could be black. If you are, can you delete my e-mail address?
There's a new anti-depressant for lesbians on the market: Trycoxagain.
In a pub quiz the other day I lost by one damn point. The question was where do women mostly have curly hair? Apparently, it's Africa.
One of the other questions was to name two things commonly found in cells. It appears that Nigerians and Zimbabweans is not the correct answer
George Clooney is to star in a new film about Gary Glitter, called "Oh, She's Eleven."
There's a new Muslim clothing shop opened in Durban but I've been banned from it after asking to look at some bomber jackets.
You can say lots of bad things about paedophiles but at least they drive slowly past schools!
A biker goes to the doctor with hearing problems. "Can you describe the symptoms to me?" asked the doctor. "Yes. Homer is a fat yellow lazy bastard and Marge is a skinny bird with big blue hair."
A mate of mine has just told me he's shagging his girlfriend and her twin. I said "How can you tell them apart?" He said, "Her brother's got a moustache."
