A Shoegasm and Friday Fawk Yous

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Take my button, link up and share some of your favourite pair of Hooker Heels.

Miu Miu Sparkly Pumps $950



Pony Hair Pumps $120



Guess Cherry Red $99

Charles David Blue Suede $195

Nine West $89

Charles Davids $145

Its also Fawk You Friday! So, go and link up with Boobies and Christy and let it all oot! Give these girls a whirl, they're Absa-fucking-Lootly brilliant.


• Fuck you to the Pneumonia replaps that whacked me this week.  Thats two weeks at home!  That's the longest time I've ever been at home for an illness (even the times I was in hospital for shit).  In conclusion, I HATE being ill, I hate feeling crap and I'm glad I'm on the mend.  Back to work on Monday and I'm actually glad!  Oh I know I'm such a fucking loser.

• Fuck you to the truck loads of snot that I have mopped up over the past two weeks.  I have gone through 354.7 tissues and my nose is red and cracked and my lips look like urban street maps - totally smoochless!

Have a BRILLIANT weekend, Plonkers.  Don't forget to enter my competition - Caption my Freaky Photo #11. and as promised here is a wee video montage from our Hot Air Ballooning experience.

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Friday's Shoegasm, a Fawk You Friday and a Vlog

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Today I'm taking my hubby away for the night.  We're going to Magaliesburg to stay at a pretty lodge for the night and the girls are going to sleep over at my sister's house.  I have a great surprise adventure planned for Saturday morning and I'll post about it when I get back because its still a secret.

Take my Friday's Shoegasm button and join me in posting your favourite pair of hooker heels.   

I don't know who does them or where to find them, but I LOVE these!

Manolo Blahnik US$945  Ouch!

SnazzyHeels.com $200

Giuseppe Zanotti Woven Platform Shiny High Heel Sandals $695

Badgley Mischka $245

Bebe $100

Manolo Blahnik.  You don't ask the price of these ones.

*Sigh*  I will probably NEVER own a pair of Christian Louboutins but that doesn't stop me looking, dreaming and drooling

Its also Fawk You Friday!  So, go and link up with Boobies and Christy and let it all oot!  Give these girls a whirl, they're brilliant.

• Fuck you to The Beatles who wrote Let it Be.  That song makes me cry EVERY fucking time!
• Fuck you to the disgusting Stevia pills that I'm using in my tea instead of brown sugar.  It DOESN'T taste the same, assbags.  Its blah!  But I have lost 3kg since I started using it.
• Fuck You to Natalie Portman who looked absa lootly stunning in Black Swan, which I watched over the weekend. I was gob-smacked by her beauty, elegance and acting.  Yeah, the first half was a bit slow but the second half was whacky and creepy (just the way I like it).  How can a woman who lost all her fucking body fat for this film, be so breath-taking?  Normally, I hate waifs (perhaps I'm secretly jealous - of course I am).  Ballerinas always have a magical place in my heart.  They just take my breath away. 
• A huge Fuck You to the woman from ABSA Customer Services in Durban, who just phoned to crap on me because some random guy came in to her branch telling her that he has my old phone number.  He says keeps getting text messages from the bank.  Hey! I changed my details with the bank, Bitch - who then is sending him text messages?  Me or You?  Sort it out, asswipe.  She didn't bank on getting a foul-mouthed Scots Lass on the other end of the phone who gave her "what for".

Now Plonkers, you have ONE more day to win Caption my Freaky Photo #10 so click on the link and go leave a comment.

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Fridays Shoegasm and Fawk You Friday

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 Take My Friday's Shoegasm button and link up a post of your favourite pair of  mind blowing heels. Remember to leave a comment that you've linked up so I can come and visit.  You know I love my shoes.  Most of you Northern Hemisphere Plonkers are probably wearing sexy summer sandals now, right?


Gold sparkly, £65, Debenhams

Amazon.com: 5 3/4 Inch Heel Sexy High Heel Shoes Green Glitter Pump Shoes Concealed Platform St Patricks Day: Clothing

440 ZAR - amazon.com

Christina Louboutins $1165

Gucci Crystal-embellished silk-satin peep-toe pumps

13 535 ZAR - net-a-porter.com

Shoes including Sneakers , Heels/Wedges and Boots - Dark Street

225 ZAR - hottopic.com

CASADEI Pointed toe pump

3 630 ZAR - farfetch.com

Link up with Boobies and Christy for Fawk You Friday

• Fuck you to the Plonker who still has not arranged a scale at my gym.
• Fuck you to my empty purse.  I desperately need a haircut, don't you know??
• Fuck you to the Engen One Stop for a Hot Chocolate that looked and tasted like fucking dish water.  I was so looking forward to that cuppa Hot Chocolate (all week!!)
• Fuck you to my laptop whose battery is fucked and I have to keep it plugged in wherever I go.  No wireless for me.
• Fuck you to my Ford Focus ST that has a cracked radiator and I have to spend 15 minutes each morning filling up the water container which, in the dead of winter hurts my hands because you have to turn that knob at least 4 dozen times before it comes off and goes back on.  By then my hand is lobster red and throbbing and the fact that I can't just Pop the bonnet and need to use a stick...Och, I don't wanna go there....

Have an awesome weekend!

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Friday's Shoegasm, Fawk You and Walmart Booty Bouncing

<a href="http://gillianhefer.blogspot.com/"><img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj9Zxrb3e_LZ7NtAScLWKs7V_YFkJeOGvg5qLOONqS4pK9kRT5Zj2v8U-JlKYE-ZZ9p-4V9fIQI1jHgKs0JgelRJunWl_gl2EcGApt81dSl10QpUFmqRiQ324pu2D0YwJm0W7AYkKodzLQ/s1600/fridayshoegasm.jpg" alt="A Daft Scots Lass" width="240" height="217" /></a>

Take My Friday's Shoegasm button and post your favourite pair of  pretty shoes.  Top Shop has some awesome stuff but I couldn't have a Shoegasm without Christian Louboutin - The Fucking Genius when it comes to heels.


Christian Louboutins



Fun Circus Style Shoes

Giuseppe Zanotti’s Multi-coloured pumps $599



Mona Moore at This Next



Top Shop $190

Oh My Sweet Fucking Genius I have fallen in LOVE with Top Shop!  Take me there and leave me there if you wish.  Have you seen some of their stuff? Why or why do we not have a Top Shop here in South Africa?  My birthday is next month, Plonkers!  Send me some Top Shop Love!!!!
 

Top Shop $128



Christian Louboutin (The Genius) gives us the platform sling-back *double drool*

Link up with Boobies and Christy for Fawk You Friday

• Fuck you to the Doochebag interwebs whom I normally adore and love more than anything but this week while surfing it up, revealed who won American Idol before we got to see the finale here in South Africa.  That's just Bollix!
• Fuck you to wee Bloemfontein lassie who married Nicolas Cage's son, Weston.  South African girls are certainly getting "out there".  Then again Fuck That, she can have him, he's kinda creepy actually.
• Fuck you to the South African Lotto that picked my FIL to win a nasty sum of cash instead of me!  Och well, they say you've gotta play it to win it, right?  Go Dadio! 

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National Cleavage Day, Fawk You Friday and a Shoegasm

Firstly, Happy National Cleavage Day!

Secondly, yet another Fawk You Friday rolls in, so please go and link up with Boobies and bitch, bitch, Bitch!


Fuck You to the Fuckers at The Big Bang Theory merchandise website.  They don't ship to South Africa.  Bastids!  Now I'm gonna have to make my own Rock Paper Scissors Lizard Spok Tee shirt. 

"CBS has announced the details for the May 5th episode of The Big Bang Theory. A new episode airs tonight, but the show will be in reruns on April 14th and 21st. The final four episodes of the fourth season will air between April 28th and May 19th" 

Fuck That!

Fuck you Fuckers that have NOT entered my So You Think You Can Vlog Competition.  Whats wrong with you!?  I know you Wankers Vlog - I've been to YouBoob.  Will it help if I tell you the winner gets to buy me some Big Bang Theory merchandise and ship them to SA for me?  Kidding!  The prize is actually really cool - so enter already!

I've been working hard at gym and sweating like a fucking pig to get this body back into shape.  Its harder than I thought.

Rightyhoo Plonkers, time for shopping and who can resist a pair of these babies.  Ah Heels...how awesome you are.  Go link up with Peace Love and Applesauce


 

Teal Satin Platform Pleated Pump $22.99 from bolelane.info

Loving my L.A.M.B. heels lately.  These are from the Juva collection and I think the hounds tooth is gorgeous!  Zappos for $353

$71.99 from Topshop

Yves Saint Laurent heels $71.99 from Topshop

Oh yeah, don't forget to enter  my

So You Think You Can Vlog Compeition! 

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Fawk You Friday

Yeah, Its Fawk You Friday again over at Boobies. Give her a whirl!

• Fuck You to the little bitches that were mean to my wee KK about dressing in boy's clothes and teasing her about it.  One day she'll kick your skinny, twinkly arses!
• Fuck You to smoothies.  I've been on a liquid diet all week and now I need a wee bit of REAL food.  Back to smoothies on Monday but I need some substance this weekend.  Bring on the texture Fuckers!
• Fuck You to people who keep cocking me around (you know who you are) and leaving everything until 99.  Its frustrating and it pisses this PMS Bitch off! 

At least there is always shoes to put a smile on my dial hosted by Boobies.

 Dolce Vita Trinity

Jessica Simpson Heels $90 http://www.heels.com/

Iron Fist Heels $55 at http://www.heels.com/

Guess $90 at http://www.heels.com/

Dont Hold Yer Breath Iron Fist Heels $50 at www.heels.com

Have a Kick Ass Weekend!!