A Shoegasm and Friday Fawk Yous

<a href="http://gillianhefer.blogspot.com/"><img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj9Zxrb3e_LZ7NtAScLWKs7V_YFkJeOGvg5qLOONqS4pK9kRT5Zj2v8U-JlKYE-ZZ9p-4V9fIQI1jHgKs0JgelRJunWl_gl2EcGApt81dSl10QpUFmqRiQ324pu2D0YwJm0W7AYkKodzLQ/s1600/fridayshoegasm.jpg" alt="A Daft Scots Lass" width="240" height="217" /></a>

Take my button, link up and share some of your favourite pair of Hooker Heels.

Miu Miu Sparkly Pumps $950



Pony Hair Pumps $120



Guess Cherry Red $99

Charles David Blue Suede $195

Nine West $89

Charles Davids $145

Its also Fawk You Friday! So, go and link up with Boobies and Christy and let it all oot! Give these girls a whirl, they're Absa-fucking-Lootly brilliant.


• Fuck you to the Pneumonia replaps that whacked me this week.  Thats two weeks at home!  That's the longest time I've ever been at home for an illness (even the times I was in hospital for shit).  In conclusion, I HATE being ill, I hate feeling crap and I'm glad I'm on the mend.  Back to work on Monday and I'm actually glad!  Oh I know I'm such a fucking loser.

• Fuck you to the truck loads of snot that I have mopped up over the past two weeks.  I have gone through 354.7 tissues and my nose is red and cracked and my lips look like urban street maps - totally smoochless!

Have a BRILLIANT weekend, Plonkers.  Don't forget to enter my competition - Caption my Freaky Photo #11. and as promised here is a wee video montage from our Hot Air Ballooning experience.

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Friday's Shoegasm and a few Fawk Yous

<a href="http://gillianhefer.blogspot.com/"><img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj9Zxrb3e_LZ7NtAScLWKs7V_YFkJeOGvg5qLOONqS4pK9kRT5Zj2v8U-JlKYE-ZZ9p-4V9fIQI1jHgKs0JgelRJunWl_gl2EcGApt81dSl10QpUFmqRiQ324pu2D0YwJm0W7AYkKodzLQ/s1600/fridayshoegasm.jpg" alt="A Daft Scots Lass" width="240" height="217" /></a>

 Link up for Friday's Shoegasm and shoes us your favourite pair of heels or shoes.  Because everyone loves a really cute pair of shoes.  Will also share with you my Hot Air Ballooning experience when I get back on Sunday.

Hervé Léger Now £300.18 Snake Look Sandals



Sergi Rossi £354.18

Halston  £341.00

Vouelle  £242

Its also Fawk You Friday! So, go and link up with Boobies and Christy and let it all oot! Give these girls a whirl, they're brilliant.

• Fuck you to the Pneumonia that hit me like a ton of bricks this week.  Totally floored me physically.  I had to say at home, in bed, on the couch and rest!  Fucking boring!

• Fuck you to the diet has was going so well last week and was ruined this week by being at home and eating all the wrong fucking shite and not being able to go to the gym.  I was so looking forward to wearnig my FoulMouthShirts. 

• Fuck you to the gas suppliers who were all out of gas this week and we froze our fucking arses off crowding around a tiny wee fan heater.

• Fuck you to DSTV which costs too much and will be switched off at our house as from today!  Its gonna be a rough ride.

Anyway, Plonkers have a great weekend.  Don't forget to enter my competition - Caption my Freaky Photo #11.

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Friday's Shoegasm, a few Fawk Yous and an Incredibly Talented Bloke!

<a href="http://gillianhefer.blogspot.com/"><img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj9Zxrb3e_LZ7NtAScLWKs7V_YFkJeOGvg5qLOONqS4pK9kRT5Zj2v8U-JlKYE-ZZ9p-4V9fIQI1jHgKs0JgelRJunWl_gl2EcGApt81dSl10QpUFmqRiQ324pu2D0YwJm0W7AYkKodzLQ/s1600/fridayshoegasm.jpg" alt="A Daft Scots Lass" width="240" height="217" /></a>

A long weekend here in SA - well for me anyway - the girls' schools were closed yesterday and Thursday was Youth Day.   Four days at home and my Birthday on Sunday.  How brilliant is that?


Take my Friday's Shoegasm button and join me in posting your favourite pair of kick-arse heels.   






STARDUST BLACK SUEDE £100.00



Gotta slip a pair of The Master's shoes into my birthday week's Shoegasm *drool*



Giuseppe Zanotti $750.00

Betsey Johnson $129

Sam Edelman $100

Naughty Monkey $65.00



Its also Fawk You Friday!  So, go and link up with Boobies and Christy and tell us who fucked you off and pissed on yer battery.

• Fuck you to postal service to lost a few of my letters in the mail. Don't they know how precious those awesome Daft Scots Lass Temp tattoos are?
• Fuck you to this persistant flu that has been trying to invade my body. I've had earache and a sore throat the entire week.  Perhaps its time to go to the doctor.

This dude is fuckin' SOOPA talented!!  ENJOY

Now Plonkers, you have ONE more day to Caption my Freaky Photo #9 and win so click on the link and go leave a comment.

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Fridays Shoegasm, a 55 and Fawk You Friday

<a href="http://gillianhefer.blogspot.com/"><img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj9Zxrb3e_LZ7NtAScLWKs7V_YFkJeOGvg5qLOONqS4pK9kRT5Zj2v8U-JlKYE-ZZ9p-4V9fIQI1jHgKs0JgelRJunWl_gl2EcGApt81dSl10QpUFmqRiQ324pu2D0YwJm0W7AYkKodzLQ/s1600/fridayshoegasm.jpg" alt="A Daft Scots Lass" width="240" height="217" /></a>

Another dreich day in Johannesburg.

So lets cheer ourselves up by seeking out some awesome heels.  Oh yeah, it was between that and chocolate today and chocolate is a no-go.

Take my Friday's Shoegasm button and join me in posting your favourite pair of funky stilettos.   

$324.99 from L.A.M.B.

Baby Phat Casidy Heel $34.99



I don't usually post flats but these caught my eye.  They look so natural and rustic.  Like you could roll 'em up and smoke 'em.    Apple Bottoms by Nelly $34.99

LoriBlu Jeweled Blue Satin Sandal $550



R315 on Bid or Buy

This graphic artist, Taylor Reeve, hand paints her pop art on all sorts of different canvases.  Here she's painted on the soles of a pair of funky stilettos.  What a brilliant idea!



Its Fawk You Friday!  So, go and link up with Boobies and Christy and find expression for all those bottled up feelings of anger and frustration towards anyone and everything that pissed on yer battery this week.

• Fuck you to the hackit school teacher that did not allow my Megan to go to the bathroom when she asked politely.  Poor sweet Megan tried to hold it in but eventually wet herself. All because of some teacher on a fucking Power Trip.  I'll take that Bitch down!  I wrote a strongly-worded letter the principal yesterday and I better have some feedback soon!
• Fuck you to the wet winter weather that is'nae good for our leaky roof.  The other night it poured down our walls.  Rain! Rain! Go Away, ye manky bastid - Och just Fuck Off!
• Fuck you to the thumb tack I sat on yesterday in my office.  Ah'mno sure if some Bawheed executed a practical joke on me and placed it on my chair, or if it just fell off my pin-board on to my chair.  Well, the all-embracing cynic in me is I going with shithead playing a practical joke.  I will find out who you are - I will seek revenge.
  
  
  

  
  I'm taking part in Flash Fiction Friday 55.  You need to give G-Man and visit and tell a story in 55 words.  I haven't done it in a while but I had some inspiration this week.
  
  
  
  

  You gave me a fright in the supermarket isle.  I was distracted by shopping when you surprised me with your visit.  I kissed you and beamed.  It was indeed lovely that you popped in just because you could.  It’s the little things that make my day.  It’s the little things that make my heart glad.
  
  

"I'm wearing Scottish underwear today; I love the nice breeze"

Now Plonkers, you have ONE more day to Caption my Freaky Photo and win so click on the link and go leave a comment, if you haven't already...

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Friday's Shoegasm, Fawk You and Walmart Booty Bouncing

<a href="http://gillianhefer.blogspot.com/"><img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj9Zxrb3e_LZ7NtAScLWKs7V_YFkJeOGvg5qLOONqS4pK9kRT5Zj2v8U-JlKYE-ZZ9p-4V9fIQI1jHgKs0JgelRJunWl_gl2EcGApt81dSl10QpUFmqRiQ324pu2D0YwJm0W7AYkKodzLQ/s1600/fridayshoegasm.jpg" alt="A Daft Scots Lass" width="240" height="217" /></a>

Take My Friday's Shoegasm button and post your favourite pair of  pretty shoes.  Top Shop has some awesome stuff but I couldn't have a Shoegasm without Christian Louboutin - The Fucking Genius when it comes to heels.


Christian Louboutins



Fun Circus Style Shoes

Giuseppe Zanotti’s Multi-coloured pumps $599



Mona Moore at This Next



Top Shop $190

Oh My Sweet Fucking Genius I have fallen in LOVE with Top Shop!  Take me there and leave me there if you wish.  Have you seen some of their stuff? Why or why do we not have a Top Shop here in South Africa?  My birthday is next month, Plonkers!  Send me some Top Shop Love!!!!
 

Top Shop $128



Christian Louboutin (The Genius) gives us the platform sling-back *double drool*

Link up with Boobies and Christy for Fawk You Friday

• Fuck you to the Doochebag interwebs whom I normally adore and love more than anything but this week while surfing it up, revealed who won American Idol before we got to see the finale here in South Africa.  That's just Bollix!
• Fuck you to wee Bloemfontein lassie who married Nicolas Cage's son, Weston.  South African girls are certainly getting "out there".  Then again Fuck That, she can have him, he's kinda creepy actually.
• Fuck you to the South African Lotto that picked my FIL to win a nasty sum of cash instead of me!  Och well, they say you've gotta play it to win it, right?  Go Dadio! 

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Friday's Shoegasm and Fawk You Friday on Voting

<a href="http://gillianhefer.blogspot.com/"><img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj9Zxrb3e_LZ7NtAScLWKs7V_YFkJeOGvg5qLOONqS4pK9kRT5Zj2v8U-JlKYE-ZZ9p-4V9fIQI1jHgKs0JgelRJunWl_gl2EcGApt81dSl10QpUFmqRiQ324pu2D0YwJm0W7AYkKodzLQ/s1600/fridayshoegasm.jpg" alt="A Daft Scots Lass" width="240" height="217" /></a>

Take the Friday's Shoegasm button and post your favourite pair of Hooker Heels.  Lets see whats in your shoe cupboard!

The new Christian Louboutin collection *double drool*  don't even want to know how much they cost.  I would probably have to work for six months just to pay for them.  But aren't they soooo pretty?!

HOT-COUTURE
Price: £119.00



Fawk You Friday's Rules are :

• Take the button
• Link up 
• Vent your week's frustrations on your blog

Spread the Word - Simple as that!

Fuck You to the Brackenhurst Voting Station who let the four of us stand in the queque freezing our arses off for 20 minutes before they told us we weren't registered at their pityful make-shift voting station.  Pffft!  We then had to go stand in the Meyersdal Voting Station queue for another hour and a half to put two piddly crosses on two silly ballot papers.  Does my vote really count?

Fuck you to MNet who air Australia's Master Chef every single fucking day on prime time.  How many boring cooking shows can we physically stomach before I spew my supper all over the screen?  Jaysus, give us some re-runs of The Big Bang Theory.  Even Knight Rider would be better than the junk you air for us.

Last one is a Fuck You to Winter in general.  Everyone knows I hate being cold.  I can't feel my toes anymore and my nose looks like a Poppy.  So not attractive.  Just Fuck Off and don't come back.  No one likes you.  You're annoying, so go be morbid and depressing somewhere else.

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Friday's Shoegasm Shizzle and Fawk You Friday about Parenting

<a href="http://gillianhefer.blogspot.com/"><img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj9Zxrb3e_LZ7NtAScLWKs7V_YFkJeOGvg5qLOONqS4pK9kRT5Zj2v8U-JlKYE-ZZ9p-4V9fIQI1jHgKs0JgelRJunWl_gl2EcGApt81dSl10QpUFmqRiQ324pu2D0YwJm0W7AYkKodzLQ/s1600/fridayshoegasm.jpg" alt="A Daft Scots Lass" width="240" height="217" /></a>

Link up, Lassies for Friday's Shoegasm.  Come on all you HeelFreaks reveal all yer favorite bed hooker heels.  Take my button, post it on your blog and do a post of your favourite heels.  Every lass needs at least ONE pair of awesome 5½ inch heels.

Christian Louboutin Pigalle pumps $540

Christian Louboutin Straratata 140 suede sandals $995

Iron Fist GPB49.99 from Scorpio Shoes

Funky Retro Boots Amazon

$126 Gucci Red Boots

Gucci heels from Bombay Harbour

Boobies, Babies and a Blog hosts Fawk You Friday. 

Loads of posts are popping up about Blogger and how they suck because of their recent down-time.  

Yes, obviously their "routine maintenance" went horribly wrong and we didn't have access for a while.  But Plonkers, this is the first time in the three fucking years that Blogger has been "unavailable". 

Quit bitching about it not being available for ONE FUCKING DAY, instead, send them a thank you that they've been up and running with no glitchs for the last three years!

My Fuck you this week goes to Parenting!  

As a mother of two wee ones, I’m occasionally frustrated and yet amazed by them.

Last night was no different - I could've easily strangled one of my offspring and sold the other one for beer money.

Take this as an example:

We have an argument with our partner, go to sleep upset or pissed off with each other and in the morning those feelings are still lingering, possibly a little diluted, but those feelings are still there. We mope and pout, grumble and fret. However, with children, we could carry on like a woman possessed (which I have been known to accomplish from time-to-time) and all seems to be forgiven and forgotten in the morning.

We can learn lessons from our children.

The next morning our children breeze into your bedroom with cheerful good morning wishes and beaming smiles and immediately you get a clean slate, a fresh start, a chance to redeem yourself and restore your level-headedness as a respectable and worthy parent.

Don’t get me wrong I never take this instant forgiveness for granted because after the dramatic performances of shouting, begging, screaming and nagging, The Guilt sets in. I write The Guilt in capital letters and italics because most parents will know The Guilt is obscenely ruthless. For parents it is a brutal aura that loiters around for ages and creeps in quietly and pokes at the wound catching you off guard.

Oh the remorse!

Seeing your children with fear in their eyes because you have snapped their heads off is harsh. Often, the shame and self-reproach is unbearable.

We feel guilty for reprimanding, we feel guilty for punishing, we feel guilty for teaching them a lesson, we feel guilty for scolding when all we want them to do is listen to us and trust that we’re doing it for their benefit in the long run. We’re not doing it to be mean or bitter or malicious. We are parenting.

However, children are Master Manipulators. They spot The Guilt immediately and they exploit it. Oh, they can smell The Guilt a mile away. Those big, wide puppy dog eyes and quivering lips are flawless examples of their guileful skill. Our children push the right buttons at the right time and operate us like the puzzles they built with expert proficiency. Don’t let them fool you! Don’t fall for their lures and charms. Their ability to twist and contort your practical and logical thoughts is remarkable.

We can learn lessons from our children.

We all have different parenting styles but most parents agree that no matter what method you use, our little ones will study your methods as quickly as you implement them. We have to keep one step ahead of them with new tactics and new strategies. Campaigns need to be rehashed as soon as they decipher our plan.

We need to think like the military. Be armed, stand ready and shoot from the hip. Always have the mission in mind and know when to advance and retreat. Do not question orders and if need be, recruit reinforcements to substitute when you are ready to loose control. Get an edge on life. Less Flower Power and more fire power.

I envy kangaroos. The baby crawls out of the womb when it is about two inches long, gets into the pouch and starts to grow. I’d have another baby if it would mature in my handbag.

I love my girls but some days I’d trade one of them for a case of fine wine, oh fuck that fine wine, cheap plonk wine and hard drugs will do just fine!

 Do your kids also drive you to drink?

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